i'm not good with decisions.
maybe the fact that this one is so difficult to decide that means i shouldn't leave... but maybe that's more reason to leave

i'm conflicted - and running out of time...

lately i come across this blog and feel as if i have so much to say and no real desire to say it. having a real struggle lately focusing on the moment instead of what's to come... which is frustrating because who knows what is to come. there are so many good things happening right now - the idea of giving it up on the unknown is actually scary. i guess i'll have to follow my usual philosophy of 'if God opens it up - he must want me to go there...' i'm not sure it's biblical... but so far it has brought good things.... i dunno... i guess time will tell...

a real update will come again soon.

i am currently sitting on my bed in the hotel in labrador city. tonight is round 4? 5? of the mokami players country tribute show and we've taken it on the road.... it's been a really fun experience doing the show. our practices are generally fun because now that we know all the songs most of it is just fine tuning things and improving - but we're basically just getting together to "jam" (my fav. word.. ha). it's quite the collection of people in the show ranging in ages from 12-60 and we've all travelled 'across the road' to see if anyone will come and see us here - away from home.
the drive here yesterday was beautiful - best experience yet over the road. it only took us 6.5 hours and the trees were gorgeous with their snow and frost covered branches. the snow and ice on the road also made things better because you couldn't tell where the pavement ended and the dirt road began... for the most part the road was equally good all the way across. now we're praying for a similar experience on the way back on sunday.
i drove with lesley, brandon, and philomena and we had a nice day learning a bit about each other - looking at the scenery, brandon watched some movies, and phil read and did puzzles. i just looked out the window for the entire 6.5 hours (cept for the collective 45 min i slept) and the day still flew by.
i really do love labrador. i'm realizing it more and more. could make for some interesting ideas come decision time later this spring.
oh well --- off to the "mall"

so yesterday i decided that my goal for the week should be: re-instate old lady bed time.

well... it's 11:30.

so in the words of the kids: fail miss... fail.

but this is where the fact that i teach that mistakes are a part of the learning process comes in. mistakes are ok / not a big deal as long as we try.

and sometimes even when we have good intentions and we TRY - it doesn't work.

lately i've been trying to apply some of the stuff i teach to my students to my own life.

for example - if i was making a comment on this situation i would say "you made the choice to not be in bed on time therefore you made the choice to be tired and potentially cranky tomorrow - however, the important part of that is; you made the choice"

so turning that around - while making mistakes are ok as long as i'm trying. sometimes it's my choices that cause me to make more mistakes - like being tired and cranky at work.

last night i actually was sleeping by 11:00/11:30 which is pretty huge for me, and for the first time in a long time i didn't feel the need or want to curl up in a chair and sleep at any point during the day. yesterday my choices created a good today for myself.

perhaps the acknowledgement of a good day due to good choices will get me back on track with my goal.

because hey, there's always tomorrow.