i am old.
at least mentally. or something.

now i don't want you to get confused here - i'm not going through some sort of quarter-life crisis or whatever you want to call it - i don't even really truly believe that i am old - rather i believe that in the grand scheme of things i am young... but right now - i am old.
monday afternoon i had an hour to kill before going home because jen finished class an hour after me - rather then staring at the rain that had been pouring down all day long i went to the wall - the campus bar - with 2 guys from my class. we had a great time - discussing practicum and classmates and life. eventually - as it always seems to - the topic turned to relationships. now it often feels (no matter how true / untrue this is) that everyone in the section is paired off - or "significantly othered" as it has been termed - with the exception of a few. so in this conversation - one of the guys is married with children and the other is single like me - and is friends with primarily the opposite sex like me. we basically decided that for us - dating is going to be hard... this of course led to... "the backup plan".
the backup plan is something traditionally geared for marrying someone if you are both single at the age of 30 and then poof - your singledom is over and you have a quick husband[/wife]. up until this point - 30 was far away. the idea of having a backup for the age of 30 seemed reasonable.
monday that came crashing down around us - 30 is only 8 years away. 30 is within reasonable sights.
30 is way too soon for a backup - and i am old.